It's back

Well of course it is.

I'm glad we did all the things we did while it was away; glad we had the chance to remember our relationship, do some repairs, build on it a bit.

(You know, I think I'm getting too involved in those reality house make-over shows. All my metaphors are structural.)

Do you remember a book called The Time Traveller's Wife?

Young lovers often believe themselves crossed by fate or by time, but those in Niffenegger’s spirited first novel have more reason than most. Henry suffers from Chrono-Impairment—a quasi-medical condition that catapults him, unwillingly, from one random point in time to another. Clare first meets him in 1977, when she is six and he materializes near her parents’ garden as a thirty-six-year-old from 2000; he returns regularly throughout her childhood from different times in their shared future. At last, when Clare is twenty and Henry twenty-eight, they meet in his present, and the relationship begins in earnest. But romance proves even trickier than usual when one person keeps vanishing to distant, and occasionally dangerous, times... (Read more: The New Yorker - Books briefly noted) 

When I first read this novel I felt like she was writing about our relationship. It's perhaps the best fictional description I've ever read about living with someone who has depression.

It's just that J was present for such an extended period this time, I really hoped (foolishly) that it might be for a very long time.

I don't know yet how long it will last. He had a bad day yesterday, all day. He still attended a social occasion though. He didn't spend the day in bed.

But the physical contact has stopped. His emotional presence in our household has diminished. He has retreated. So while he hasn't entirely disappeared I can see him fading. I can almost see through him.

So I guess now is the time to remember all of things I've learned about how to deal with this. Go over my notes. Something about giving him the space he needs yeah? Maintaining the boundaries right?

Flo