And just to prove that there's no rhyme or reason to the pattern of J's depression, this morning should have been in technicolour for all its cheesy, happy, look-at-us how wonderful we are vibe going on.
Today the three of us caught the same train into town - J on his way to work and T and I to have banana bread and meet up with friends at a park.
We chatted. We talked about our visit to the Blue Mountains last year. T and J laughed a lot.
People on the train smiled (because of course my kid is incredibly irresistible but quite apart from that) because people generally smile at happy family scenes and curious articulate toddlers reminiscing like old men about the good old days in that yellow thing without wheels (cable car) and we should really do that again shouldn't we?
For a finale you couldn't have written a more touching farewell between father and son - enormous hugs, a kiss and then as we alight onto the platform, a turn, a wave and "I love you daddy".
And that's what we looked like, and indeed were this morning. A happy family. Beautiful. Even though it was wet and cold outside our mornings don't get better than this.
I have absolutely no idea how this came about, this stunningly wonderful normal looking happiness. I'm not extrapolating anything from it apart from the joy of the moment (and the memory of that joy, but no expectations certainly).
Do you have times like these? Had any lately that you can live off until the next one?
Flo
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