This is the only holiday that doesn't bring my partner down. Special occasions tend to be very stressful. There's the imperative to have a good time followed by feelings of failure that result from not being able to meet those expectations.
But Father's Day has always (well all three of them so far) been a day when J has seemed happy. I make a bit of a fuss (well, this year that involved a cup of instant coffee before I left for work) and then leave him to spend time with our son.
We all have our doubts about our effectiveness as parents sometimes and I think with depression these doubts go much deeper. I know for J he is always very anxious not to repeat his own father's abusive behaviour and this is a very significant influence on his style of parenting.
I wonder if in some ways the extreme contrast between what he experienced as a child and what he is doing as a parent actually helps him to see that in fact he is succeeding at being a good father.
The differences are so obvious that he could hardly doubt it. This is one area where he can always see very clearly that he has not failed and so it makes him feel good.
I know that's not going to be the same for everyone. What happens on these occasions for your family? How do you handle it?
Flo
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