You know how they compare sleep deprivation with drinking and you should never drink and drive, drink and text ... drink and post?
Well I'm not drunk but I had four hours of sleep last night - up with a sick toddler who then refused to sleep during the day. And now here I am at work, doing an evening shift. My eyes are squinting a bit at the screen even though I've got the text size set to enormous.
Also, I lay no claim to coherence. So my apologies if this seems haphazard. I don't mean it to be, but heck, I have so much that I feel guilty about, I'm not going to add sleep-addled-blog-posts to the list.
I just didn't want to forget what I wanted to write (hmm, slip sliding into dream-speak already maybe). Anyway...
My partner has decided to leave his job of almost 10 years. I'm a little bit excited because it's been a long time since he's had any thoughts about the future or been enthusiastic about anything at all.
Hell it's been forever since planning anything (catching a bus, getting to one social engagement in a weekend, paying a bill) has been possible without a tonne of angst, a smattering of argument and an aftertaste of slight trauma for all.
I don't actually expect it to happen in a hurry. But he's actually downloaded some information about a training course he wants to do and he actually called me from work (another big deal that's been happening lately, how did I forget to get excited about that?) to tell me about it.
So a smorgasbord of delights for me today - a phone call; a fully engaged conversation (as opposed to a tirade) where we discussed his thoughts and feelings and where my input was sought and valued; and a plan for the future. (There needs to be much fanfare around that last one. Bells, whistles and little crackers with expensive cheese and toxic-coloured cocktail onions.)
I need to finish up at work now before my typing starts to slur and the last zip of caffeine wears off. Just wanted to share the excitement.
I really, really hope you all have a smidgeon of good stuff like that in your week or month or even year. (Now I'm really starting to sound drunk - and another thing, youse are all beaudiful and I love youse all...)
Seriously,
Flo
HI Flo
ReplyDeleteI'd just like to apologise for my advice yesterday which at the time sounded like it could possibly be 'helpful' but in hindsight was probably just ridiculous. I mean I have a depressed MIL who it is nearly impossible to bring up any issues with when she is 'well' as they are ALWAYS misconstrued as criticism. How could I expect it to be any different with anyone else. I hope I didn't come across as a total dick.
Oh and glad to hear that you had some good things happen today.
Hi Paoloa, you absolutely did not come across as any form of genitalia whatsoever! Please have no fears on that front. I think everyone has learned different things about what works and what doesn't and I appreciate the insights you've provided (here and elsewhere) that come from learning to live with your MIL. They're certainly valuable. And of course, thanks for posting. I get so excited when people do!
ReplyDeleteFlo
Steps forward like that are so awesome. Particularly when they start snowballing - when you get to a point and look back and the difference is amazing. Good luck and I hope the changes keep coming!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on this lovely sign of progress. May I offer a word of caution, though? Please make sure (if you can) that his new plans (whether that's a training program or another job) are firmly, firmly, firmly in place before he quits the old job. My depressed spouse made a career change in order to get out of a job that he felt was contributing to his depression, but then never followed through on the new plans. Three years on I am still supporting him and the children -- by holding down 2 jobs myself and exhausted to the point of breakdown -- while he hatches a new and different plan each time he's up and gives it up again as soon as he's down. I'm not suggesting your partner will do the same, it does sound like real progress in his case. But just be cautious. Keep the new plans as simple and practical as possible, for people with depression can easily get overwhelmed.
ReplyDeletePost script to Paola: I agree with Flo, your comment was fine and no apology necessary. Like Flo, our brave and honest and insightful post on this blog, I love reading all the comments and hearing the different ways others approach the problem of living with a depressed Loved-on.
ReplyDeleteAnother post script:
ReplyDeleteOh dear! In the above message, that was supposed to be "our brave and honest and wonderful HOST on this blog", so sorry for the typo, doh!