A hangover and a tsunami warning

I have to apologise first up for what I think might be a rambling and disconnected post. My head is a little muddled after a fabulous wedding party last night. So much dancing and wine and music and that lovely heady drunkeness and affirmations of love between old friends.

Who would have thought getting older could be this wonderful if only you have such fine company in which to do it? (Told you I'd ramble.)

Anyway, we both had a few drinks and I know we'll have to pay for this. But at this point (while J is still sleeping, our son is with my parents and things are very quiet) I want to continue to enjoy it.

Things got off to a rocky start yesterday. We managed to have a fight just before the cab arrived. It was my fault this time. I just couldn't bear hearing for the 20th time that day that I don't like him, I think he's crap and so on and so forth. I snapped and told him that I just didn't want to hear it anymore and I'd rather he stayed home than continue on in that vein. Stupid, stupid me.

So the cab ride was in total silence. I was amazed that he still got in. And then I was accused of not understanding at all, of saying hurtful things without a care for what he felt.

Inside my head I was seething with the injustice of his comments, but somehow wisdom prevailed and I listened quietly, respectfully. Because in fact it was worse than what he was accusing me of.

My comments were not thoughtless. They were impatient and heedless of his feelings. I do in fact think all the time about how hard things are for him but my actions certainly didn't show it.

And then there was the ride to the wedding with friends. More silence on his part (but they know how things are so at least there was nothing to explain).

At the wedding we were absorbed into the crowd; many old friends swarming around to hug and talk and he was caught up in it. We flowed into separate groups. We stood separately during the ceremony. I didn't dare to look in his direction. I focussed entirely on the bride and groom and the lovely funny ceremony, the flowergirls, the incredible views and sunshine.

In fact it was our friends who made things unbelievably incredibly okay. There was no way I could have made up for what I said to him. But the beautiful environment and the steady flow of people walking up to him and engaging in conversation around him and with him led him gently into having a good time.

That and of course - eventually, quite late into the piece fortunately - a few beers. It's the beers that I have to thank for getting him onto the dance floor of course. I'm afraid it's not depression that keeps him from dancing. It's just being a lumbering and rather uncoordinated kind of bloke. Not that beer provides coordination, but I give high marks for enthusiasm and confidence.

I was in absolute heaven last night. Today may be a different matter but that hasn't started yet. I will stop meandering about in a minute, though I just want to say first how grateful I am for the invention of paracetamol. I'm starting to list a little to starboard (or whatever the hell this side of the room is called). So time to go really.

Flo

PS - Did I mention waking up to hear something on the radio about a tsunami warning? I'm sure there's some perfect analogy to be made about what might be coming today. Did I just make it then?