1. I want happiness to be day-to-day, not a special thing, a holiday in the middle of a heavy slog. I want this for all of us, but I can only make it happen for me and for my son, not for my partner.
2. I'm getting really tired. I worry that I'm disintegrating, even though I try so hard to keep it together. I can't grow a skin that's any thicker. It's not getting easier.
3. I don't like some of the ways that this is changing who I am. I don't like being so hard-arsed. I don't like having to draw sharp lines about how much I give to my partner and how much I have to keep back for myself.
4. I'm getting older.I don't know if I want to continue this battle for too much longer.
Thank you for these Reasons to Leave/Reasons to Stay lists. They are very similar to mine.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you to everyone who has been commenting. Hearing your stories helps.